Pause. Look at your reflection and think to yourself, am I happy?
I meditate on this idea as I have lived a lifestyle of wearing a smile that doesn’t truly equate to my emotion. Just like when you write ‘loool’ in a message but the muscles in your mouth didn’t make any movement or produce any noise (I’m guilty of this too so don’t worry). Not everyday is my ‘best life’ but I have gotten to a space where I can say I’m content with just being me regardless of my circumstances. It’s taken forever to get here, which I shared in my previous post but it’s something I believe we all deserve. Happiness.
Happiness is defined as:
1. the state of being happy.
What is being happy? A lot of us could agree it’s subjective. Being happy to some could mean being rich, to others it's our appearance, our following online, our job position and even how educated we are. I’m 23 so I could only say so much about what life is, but through curiosity and observation I believe happiness is the balance of a healthy mindset, healthy body. Obviously there is a lot more to consider but the balance of this can benefit in a lot areas of our lives subconsciously. The idea of having a healthy mindset to me previously meant being really critical about what I’m consuming, which was the main reason why I spent a lot of time off social media. That changed when I realised that being present in the world could actually put you in a space of understanding who you are within it. Living in a bubble made me unhappy cause the only person I was relating to was myself and with me letting go of that idea, I am constantly meeting people with the same mindset and ideals as me.
Now the world is messed up and we are fed with a lot of information the moment we unlock our devices. To counteract this, I like to keep my mind healthy in reading, creating, writing, exercise and in prayer. We all have our ways of keeping ourselves grounded. If you are someone who is struggling to find the balance, I will say think about changing your routine at some point of your day. May be in the morning or just before going to bed to not be on any devices, you could use that time to do what you love. Sometimes I just listen to music and dance for timeeeee in my room cause it’s such a vibe!
My point is to dedicate that time to clear your mind from the world and our circumstances doing the simplest things that make you happy. Doing this regularly can actually make a difference and ultimately be impactful to your happiness. Let’s reflect on the media we consume......yes it’s a bit shaky but we can all improve together. My music taste at times isn’t always the most spiritual or positive, I listen to the most crunk music at times you would think I prepping to do a madness. I’ve even had to stop watching ‘reality’ tv cause I was noticing I was making every little altercation into something dramatic in my mind. It really was never that deep. That’s why I’m mindful with the balance as subconsciously you could actually be distorting your behaviour. I love music so I’m still working on it but always try to have a balance of listening to music that spiritually/ positively impacts me to the music that I soley listen to for it’s production not necessarily the lyrics.
The people in our lives can play a big part to our happiness. We have all been through having positive to toxic friendships/ relationships or even been the positive or toxic person. I’ve been all of them at some point but it’s how you move on from it. I’ve been hurt and I’ve hurt others too and the main reasoning for it was cause of my happiness. I didn’t dedicate time to doing what makes me happy and spent a lot of time ‘hiding’ behind how I felt. Communication has impacted my happiness cause I’m saying exactly how feel in the moment. I wouldn’t say lay down the law in the heat of things cause it can get sticky still, but give it some breathing time and express how you truly feel. If there is something pressing on your heart just say how you feel, holding it in will take up data in your mind and all that space could be used to store way more valuable information. Your happiness comes first and we are all human going through a complex life. I’m here for you so don’t be concerned about the result, do it anyway cause your sanity is important. The main thing is you only live once thats the motto...
Having positive people around you will definitely help so just be mindful of that. We aren’t always going to get our radar right, that’s why I’m mainly directing it at your happiness as an individual rather than within people. Regardless you should feel content within yourself even if people are moving wishy washy.
Let’s talk about the body. Now I’m not gonna lie my health is something I’m trying get better at, I’m not on the nuts and berries fix yet. Keeping your body aligned will contribute to your outward thinking. I can’t talk much on this subject as I don’t hit up the gym, but every person I speak to that does always says it helps them mentally. One thing I do is jogging, it really clears my mind and keeps the circulation of my body aligned. If you know me food makes me happy, it’s a bit crazy but it really melts my heart. However, the types of food I consume is something I really want to change. Having a balanced diet can help nourish your body which results in having a healthy mind. If your like me and food is your babes may be think about adding more vegetables and fruits into your diet and trust me you will see so many benefits. Herbal tea is my thing it helps a lot with detoxing but I find it helps me feel calm, before the day gets hectic I drink some to keep my mind in a positive state. This section is gonna be a bit short as the lifestyle is style pending but hopefully in the future I can speak more on this topic. I do strongly believe in keeping your body healthy will definitely help with your happiness. With saying all of this don’t strain or damage your body to have a ‘healthy’ appearance. Listen to what your body needs. Nourish it in a healthy way and be at the healthy weight YOUR body wants it to be, not what society says you should look like.
Our circumstances is the biggest contributor to it all. You may reads this and think ‘this girl is living in some fairytale, my life is crazy right now’. My life is on a mad one too, I still go through things, I’m still confused most of the time but I’m learning to understand that my circumstances don’t define me and where I’m going. A lot of us have been born into ‘problems’ and it’s hard to see past it. We end up in a box and believe that this is the end all and be all of my life. I rebuke it! Cause if this same grey (dusty) London sky can span all the way across to Hawaii then you can do amazing things.
As we are closing up to the end you may have notice I didn’t mention anything along the lines of materialism. I’m not saying that it’s something you can’t strive to have, especially if you have worked extremely hard for it. The core of it all is understanding that your happiness was always in balance prior to that object entering your life.
With all that is being said I have to acknowledge my faith. Believing in God has definitely been the main foundation of keeping everything aligned. I’m still working on this relationship, it isn’t perfect but it’s something I’m always aware of. My life isn’t A1 but trusting the process and letting God navigate my journey means I can stress a little bit less. Believing God has become part of my lifestyle and it is the main reason why I just get up do as I please. I still get scared and can be a hot mess but I’m at ease whenever I take a leap and face my fear knowing God has got me. I repeat, it took me timeeeeee to get here and you can get here too or may be you’re way beyond this point. I don’t know my tomorrow and do understand that there are some situations I will endure that may alter my happiness. The only thing different this time is my belief that all will be well and that me working on my happiness and doing what I love means my days may feel a bit better, regardless of the circumstances.
You may be going through a storm right now and may not be able to see the end, I want you to know it will come to an end and this is just a season. Remain positive and remember you have always deserved happiness. I’m praying for you! If you are someone who feels they don’t have anyone to confine in feel free to message me.
I got to love and leave you.