I hope this arrived to you safely, let me first lay out my flaws.
I’m terrible at using social media.
I create things but never see it to completion (never the problem when comes to eating food though lool)
I overthink everything to the point of procrastination and doubt.
I under sell my skills and ability.
I let fear take me on a journey rather than allowing faith to guide me.
I’m my biggest critique and end up staying in my comfort zone rather than taking risk.
Now I have laid it all out let me get straight to the point. I keep stopping and starting cause I let my circumstances rule me, I put my passions in the passengers seat whilst I manoeuvre around the obstacles of set backs and disappointments. This 2018 has been testing and I have endured multiple setbacks that I have allowed to affect me from using my gifts and talents. Sometimes life really gets real and through the heat of it all, priorities do shift and as hard as it was I’m happy I stayed present for it all.
Our circumstances is something we can’t control and after a year since graduating and have spent more time unemployed than working, I have learnt about the mind games we can play if we let our circumstances define who we are. The social media spectrum has been one of those things I have found hard to stay consistent on, mainly cause of how much I overthink things. I want to change that cause I have to realise life is about balance and being present can help tremendously when trying to reach our goals. After spending so many moons off social media all I have done is worked on getting better with my passions but all the hard work gets left in my hard drive for know one to see. I have hid behind a curtain for so many years cause of the unknown, the fear of stepping out on stage and showcasing my true self. After listening to my dramatic narrative in my mind, I have learnt that know one cares about what I’m doing as deeply as I think they do lool. There are millions or even billions of people in the social media spectrum that I’m only just a number within it all, my question to myself is who am I amongst it all.
Being off social media has had many benefits especially with being present, being able to meet new people and visit new places without the burden of having to share what I’m doing. I have developed an attitude of discipline and have remained focused in training my mind in striving to be the best version of myself. I wouldn’t want that side of me to change it just requires balance. As my faith has been growing I believe we all have a mission that we have to complete on this earth. Through 6 years of trying to create a blog, YouTube channel and even a platform timing has been the biggest ruler of them all. The biggest lesson is that I call those years my time of training, learning about hard work making mistakes and facing difficulties to to develop my character.
I still have a long way to go but I’m finally doing the things I enjoy, through suppressing my creativity, trying to fit in and listening to what others tell me about what my future should be like, I had to put an end to it all. Hitting the lowest points and facing my demons, I have made the decision to not hold back on being my true self anymore. The only thing I need to prove is that when God looks back on my choices of my lifestyle is did I use the gifts and talents he gave me to positively impact this world. I G checked my self and realised there is only so much hiding you can do when my gifts were given to me to share with others. If I’m talking in this context then validation has to be in the question. Personally I don’t believe you have to prove anything to anyone, but If I’m only going to show a polished side of things I have to be open to share my experiences. We are all human, I’m still young and still trying to figure out what life is about.
Opportunities don’t come to you if you aren’t present, me just sharing could take me on a journey I never anticipated for. Practice makes perfect but the perfection can never be executed if you only train your eyes to see it. Over the past couple weeks my tempo of life has changed and it’s only cause I’m making choices to be in environments that force me to create rather than staying in a corner and dreaming about all the things I want to do.
Collaboration is the best training for improvement, it is where you see most of your flaws and good traits you never knew you had. I’ve learnt as much as I can keep me to me I will never reach the full potential of what is out there. Being the optimist I am, I still believe that there are amazing people I need to meet who want to make a change in this world during the existing climate. I can’t keep bringing down social media if I never really gave it a chance. I love meeting people in real life and sharing moments but as the years keep adding I don’t think social media is going anytime soon whether I like it or not. I have come a long way especially with my mental health, which is something I will speak on in the future. It was a real storm but seeing change happen, it is an experience I’m proud of that I went through.
Change may not happen immediately but the fact I don’t know my tomorrow is the main reason I have to do and share what I love. Life is just too short to hold back. Since a young age my spirit lives on being creative and it is why I have a love hate relationship with it. When I run away from it always finds it’s way back to me. Now that I will be sharing more that I do creatively it’s a chance for me to take more risk and stop being a little chicken. I understand there are still going to be setbacks and mistakes, which we all go through, but the most important thing is the comeback and turning a negative situation into a positive. I’m not perfect and most definitely know that one of my traits from my list of flaws will be entertained. My online presence has been poor but it never stopped me from grinding. I’m going to give this a go and it is better late than never right. I may not be posting every minute of the hour but I will be sharing more of what I love to create. It is about time I start resuming the projects that I have started.
I hope that through me sharing has inspired you in going on a journey to just being your true self as that’s all we need from you. I hope this inspires you to develop a healthy mindset of being in acceptance of all your flaws and imperfections. Never be embarrassed about being you, fitting in has never been cool. If you wanna wear a blue durag with pink flames then be my guest! Just do you. You are uniquely talented and are worthy to be a part of this world. Whether you have been contemplating to start a blog, make your hobby your career or have been grinding for years, please promise me to never stop chasing your dreams.
Continue to support those who are like minded as it is a beautiful thing when you all grow together through the success of it all. I want you to know you are not a lone so lets go on this journey together. I wanna make a special shout out to those who have motivated me for the past couple weeks and those wanting me to collaborate with them on their projects. You are the reason why this is being done as you have shown me another side of my creativity I never knew I had.
Remember to stay positive and never stop grinding.